If you are a guy who has been unlucky in love or seem to always end up with the wrong girl, chances are good you are a little gun-shy about dating. But in your deepest heart, you dream of being the kind of man who has the power to attract women without even trying.

This is not an impossible dream. There are definite successful ways to pick up women. They are not tricks; they are proven methods that work. They are not scams that give you a momentary ability to attract women. They are simply ways to improve yourself so you constantly exude the power to attract even when you aren’t trying. It’s not about learning or memorizing witty or clever things to say to attract women. Now, don’t get me wrong, pick up lines are great when you are just starting out. But that’s what they are for – starting out. Think of them like training wheels. They allow you build up a little bit of confidence to pick up women, but they should only be used temporarily.

The number one thing you can do to get women is to work on your self confidence. The secret in a man’s power to attract lies in his self esteem. When you have healthy self esteem, you are not cocky or arrogant, you are relaxed and playful and more fun to be around. This is the secret to how to pick up women. When you have self confidence, you know you are worthy of a beautiful woman’s time and attention and you are not stung if your attempts to date a woman are not successful. You naturally have the attitude that there are more fish in the sea. And guess what? There are.

When you approach a woman with self confidence, not placing a large importance on the outcome of the conversation, you are doing it right. It’s not just whether or not you pick up women – it’s how you handle whatever happens. So what if it doesn’t pan out. Maybe the woman is having a bad day. Maybe she just met the man of her life. Maybe she’s married. You can’t control any of these things. When you approach a woman, you may have all the power of attraction under the sun, but you still won’t be able to anticipate or control her reaction.

Once you realize what is in your control and what is out of your control, you can relax. Your approach anxiety will naturally disappear. You will appear more playful, more fun, more confident and more relaxed. And guess what else? The natural consequences of you feeling this way make you more likely to pick up women. It’s ironic, but the less you care, the less emphasis you put on the outcome, the more power to attract women you have. But you can’t go out there trying too hard. It’s the opposite of that. It is having enough self confidence that you know you will be fine with or without a woman. And frankly, that is irresistible.